he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize