We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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