I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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