By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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