i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
