for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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