i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
