Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
