I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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