Non-Jews are for practice
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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