Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Randomize
