tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
