You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
