A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
