K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
