I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
