Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize