Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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