PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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