oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
