Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
