So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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