ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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