My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
