I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
