respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize