someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
