i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
