he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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