double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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