About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
