I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
