i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
