I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
