My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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