i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize