id be glad to
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
