"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
