If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
