He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
