they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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