The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
