Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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