so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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