More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
