dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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