remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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