When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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