Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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