please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
