we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
