does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
