talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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