We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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