i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize