And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
