yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
