her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
