Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
