Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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