Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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