Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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