that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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