If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need to calm my uterus...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
