dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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