sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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