belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
