I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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