Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
