what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she smelled like a LAN party
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
